Phoning it in
Apr 01, 2024
NEBELSBAD, ZUBROWKA – Professional and home chefs alike often report being intimidated by cooking rice. Memories of crunchy rice, mushy glop, and ruined pot bottoms can trigger anxiety in the kitchen. But researchers here say they’ve successfully removed the guesswork by replacing the art of cooking rice with some hard science.
The new variety of long grain rice, RU4-Shore, sends a text message when it's done cooking.
Heading to market under the name "SMS-Grain," this revolutionary rice variety promises to save countless kitchen catastrophes and end the era of overcooked or undercooked rice.
"We've spent years perfecting this technology,” said Dr. Vilmos Kovacs, professor of agronomy and telecommunications at the renowned Zubrowka Institute of Absurd Research. “Now, your rice will send you a text message as soon as it's reached its ideal fluffiness level. No more guessing games!"
Kovacs added chefs should be careful not to cook rice and drive, and that data rates may apply.